by The Happy WAHM
Networking. No, it’s not the multi-level marketing (MLM) that most people equate with the word. When I talk about networking, I simply mean making connections.
Networks matter for career success. People in your network help you find people who can assist you with projects, refer you to new employers (or for freelancers, clients), and make connections to new and bigger opportunities.
One study says that 36–42% of employees who do networking are more likely to receive top performance evaluations, 43–72% more likely to be promoted (an effect that builds in the 2 years following the program), and 42–74% more likely to be retained by the company.
Networks matter for keeping your sanity, too. Especially for freelancers and work-at-home professionals like me. We need a network to stay abreast with what’s happening in the industry.
Truth is, networking happens mostly during after-hours activities, like after-work coffee dates, weekend get-togethers, or at far-away conferences. That poses a problem for me. Since most of my colleagues are based in the Metro, and I’m based in the province.
And did I mention I’m a work-at-home mom? So no officemates to have coffee with, except for my husband, of course, who also works from home.
Case in point, I had to miss the annual Homeschool Convention because it was the only day I could take my daughter to an important dental appointment. It would have been a great day for me to reconnect with fellow homeschooling parents, and meet new ones. But as a WAHM, I have to set my priorities. It would have been workable if the venue was near, but it’s a 3-hour travel, so no, I just had to miss it.
So how do I strengthen connections with colleagues if traveling to the Metro is out of the question? How do I meet new connections if my days off from work are reserved for wearing the mommy hat?
For many of us, that problem doesn’t get solved. The network just stops growing, and in worse cases, it even shrinks.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. As WAHMs, we just need to be more creative and deliberate. Or is the word intentional?
So here are some of the key points I learned from David Burkus’ book, Friend of a Friend: Understanding the Hidden Networks That Can Transform Your Life and Your Career.
Hit the pause button on making new connections.
Focus on old friends and former colleagues. These are people who are already in your network, but have become dormant because of your circumstances. I try hard to do this myself, having coffee dates with friends from my past life as a corporate junkie. Sending messages on social media; commenting on their posts; tagging them in my updates that I think are relevant to them; or sharing something that reminded me of them and tagging them.
Re-establishing relationships and catching up is a lot faster than making new connections. And the truth is, they are more valuable.
Explore the edges.
This one’s a good idea for introverts like me. It’s a lot easier networking with people you share a common friend with. Or maybe people that your relatives already know. It can be that you already know the person by name, but you have not connected yet. So David suggests to solicit an introduction from the common friend and take it from there.
Go virtual.
This, I have down pat. I’ve been using social media to connect, and lately, I have stepped up my game by accepting or making calls via Messenger or Skype. Maybe soon I can forget about being shy and move on to video calls that will make some high-fidelity face-to-face conversations happen without having to leave home. We can even have coffee together, virtually.
Make introductions.
This one is powerful. I know my friend Kathy does this a lot. And I’ve done this quite a few times myself. Introducing two contacts from two different networks that you have is a great way to strengthen your connections. You strengthen the network around you, provide value for both contacts, and become known as an overall generous person. You can do it any time of day via email, but make sure both parties know your introduction is coming. Or you can create a group chat.
Use business travel wisely.
There may be times when traveling for work is unavoidable, but you can make the most of your time away. I do this all the time, when I have to meet with a client in the Metro. I just plan my trip so that I arrive a couple hours early and use that time to meet with a friend. Or plan to stay longer, and meet the friend after the business meeting.
Another way to do this, especially when attending a conference or a seminar, is finding out who’s coming to the event and setting up a schedule for quick chats with those you know.
Talk about other interests.
When parents get together, chances are the main topic would be kids. Examining non-kid interests, hobbies, and even work can lead to a stronger bond and more reasons to stay connected. A fellow homeschooling mom, Donna, did a great job at this during the Homeschool Convention. I missed the event, but I was kinda there, as part of her presentation. She made a presentation of homeschooling moms’ other passions that they developed or discovered while homeschooling. The result, it created another avenue for homeschooling moms to connect through another interest. And she created a group chat for us moms who she used as examples.
A lot of these steps seem like a regular part of networking, and they are. We just tend to neglect them. I believe that growing a thriving network is not just about attending networking events, working the room, and hoping to meet new people. A big (and more important) part of networking involves taking care of the network you already have and slowly expanding it through current contacts. It’s true that I used to think that networking can only happen at after-work events or at big gatherings, but I have since realized that much of it can be done from right where I am – my workstation.
You don’t have to find more time to do networking, you just have to fit networking into the time you have.
by The Happy WAHM
I’ve been familiar with LabDoor since 2014. But it’s only last week that I started using it for myself.
I use Labdoor when my client needs me to link a supplement he recommends to his affiliate account on Amazon.
So let’s say he wants to recommend supplementing one’s diet with glucosamine chondroitin, I would go to Amazon and search for that supplement.
Those are big words, by the way, so I just copy and paste from his article to the search box.
The results would show different brands, so I would then go to LabDoor, and see how those brands rank.
Cool, huh?
What is Labdoor?
LabDoor is an independent company that does the hard work for us. They test supplements to find out if what they claim on their labels are true, and whether or not they have harmful ingredients or contaminants. They grade and rank the supplements, prepare a report and then they publish the information.
And take note, they buy the products that they have selected for testing. They do not accept samples from manufacturers. That way, they do not form a bias.
How Labdoor helps.
So Labdoor goes through the following process:
- Select the product for testing.
- Purchase the products.
- Collect testing data on those products.
- Convert collected data into scores.
- Generate rankings.
- Publish the result.
And all we have to do as consumers is go to their website and check for ourselves which brand is best.
Their rankings are 2-fold. There is a ranking for quality and another ranking for value.
My reason for going to LabDoor last week was to find me a good Vitamin D that I can get from Amazon. I had some blood work done, and for today, I’m sharing the results of my 25-Hydroxy Vitamin D test.
Why did I get tested in the first place?
Well, if you Google what the 25-Hydroxy Vitamin D test is for, you’ll find that it is requested when your doctor believes you are at high risk of having Vitamin D deficiency.
So who are those at high risk?
- people who don’t get much exposure to the sun
- older adults
- people with obesity
- babies who are breastfed only (formula is usually fortified with vitamin D)
- people who have had gastric bypass surgery
- people who have a disease that affects the intestines and makes it difficult for the body to absorb nutrients, such as Crohn’s disease
Notice that I highlighted the one that applies to me.
Come one, people! I’m not that old!
But anyway, in one of my mother’s regular visits to her internist, it was mentioned in passing that I’m a virtual assistant. The good doctor asked me how long I’ve been a VA, and I replied, “Going on 13 years.” Right then and there, the doctor wrote me a lab request for 25-Hydroxy Vitamin D test and a bone densitometry test. He told me to get those done and see him when I have the results.
And because I’m stubborn, I never had those tests done. Until something happened two weeks ago.
I’m not going to delve too much on what it was that happened, but suffice it to say that since October 2009, I’ve been under the care of a nephrologist.
Now back to my hunt for Vitamin D.
My test result showed a level so much lower than the normal range. A level of 30 to 40 nanograms/milliliter is adequate, and I had 10.5. So I was prescribed 4000iu of daily intake of Vitamin D for the next 2 months, and a repeat of the test after that period.
I’ve never taken any vitamins in my life. Well, except for those prescribed when pregnant. Other than those, I don’t take any meds at all.
Not even for a migraine.
Now, here are some fun facts…
There are doctors here who sell what they prescribe. Yes, even when you can see on the hospital bulletin board that it is prohibited. There’s a long list of reasons why they cannot and should not sell, but still…
So we buy from the doctors. Because another fun fact is… we can’t find Vitamin D higher than 1000iu in pharmacies.
And the doctors sell either Kirkland or Healthy Options.
And the price! While you can buy Kirkland from Amazon at Php1.35 per softgel (at 54 to a dollar exchange rate), we pay Php10.00 per softgel to our good doctor.
Hey, I realize they also need to pay for shipping cost and everything, okay? So I’m not complaining.
But if I can get it directly from Amazon without worrying about shipping, why not, right?
So I went to LabDoor to check how Kirkland’s Vitamin D ranks. It has a score of 81.5 out of 100. Not good enough, because it only has a score of 66 on Ingredient Safety.
See, LabDoor also shows the ratings based on
- label accuracy,
- product purity,
- nutritional value,
- ingredient safety, and
- projected efficacy.
The ratings are also coded in colors. Dark green is best, light green is good, yellow not so much.
I checked out the other brands that I’m familiar with, like NatureMade, and it has a score of 85.9 out of 100. It’s twice the cost of Kirkland, but I like that it scored higher with LabDoor. The only concern is that they only tested the 1000iu, and I need the 2000iu.
The top-rated Vitamin D? It’s called NutriGold. It has a score of 87.4 out of 100. It’s a no-brainer, I’m going for this one.
And I’m writing about LabDoor, why?
I mean, other than finally waking my blog up from its deep slumber.
Well, for one, I know that there are parents in my audience. Parents who buy their kids vitamins on a regular basis. I’m sure they’ll appreciate the information that LabDoor gives away for free.
And two, because I know that there are also freelancers in my audience, who, like me, fall under the category of “people who don’t get much exposure to the sun.” Guys, if you’re like me, whose only time outside the house is to go for groceries and run errands, please go and see your doctor. It won’t hurt to get tested for your Vitamin D level.
Like it literally won’t hurt if you find a phlebotomist who draws blood like Iliad.
And then you can plan on working under the sun, like on a beach, or a park…
Now I’m dreaming.
So there you have it, folks! I hope that you find this post helpful. Thank you for reading! And feel free to share!
Do you, have questions, comments or feedback about this post?
Please leave a comment below, or post them on my Facebook Page.
by The Happy WAHM
Our very own miracle is turning 13 today!
Thirteen years ago at around this time (2 o’clock in the afternoon), I was being discharged from the hospital. I just had my first round of steroids that would give my baby a fighting chance should we come to the point where taking him out of my womb would be the only course of action. I’ve been bleeding heavily since my third month and I’ve been in and out of the hospital.
My OB-Gyn never gave us any hope that my pregnancy would continue. On our first visit, she said it was likely to abort.
On my fourth month, she advised us not to get our hopes up. The bleeding was getting heavier.
On my fifth month, she advised us to have me confined in the hospital because the bleeding was already endangering both the baby and myself. It was of course out of the question. We had no one to take care of our two daughters, and we simply could not afford a long hospital stay.
On my sixth month, she sat us down to discuss having the baby taken out of my womb and they would try to save him outside of the womb. I was to have four doses of steroids, to be administered in a span of two weeks. The steroids would make the baby’s lungs stronger, and give him a fighting chance to survive, should we go through the C-Section.
We agreed to the steroids. And on June 9, 2005, I had my first dose. I stayed overnight in the hospital. And I was discharged the next day. It was thirteen years ago today.
We went home, comforted by the knowledge that the steroids would give our baby stronger lungs. We were to come back for the second dose in three days.
We arrived home around 2:30 pm, and everything was fine. But at around 6:00 pm, the bleeding started again. More profuse than any I experienced in the past four months. At one point, there was one big swoosh that really got me shaking.
And then I went into labor.
I got the calling the hospital routine down pat. Been doing it for 4 months, I was already an expert. And calm.
I called admissions for a room. And I called the ER so they would expect me. Then I called my OB-Gyn, my anesthesiologist, and our pediatrician.
A Series of Miracles
I was supposed to have four doses of steroids. I went into labor just after the first dose. That one dose gave me comfort. Our baby had 25% more chance than before the first shot was given.
I lost a lot of blood while we were at home. But the moment my husband put me in the car and all through during the drive to the hospital, not one drop of blood flowed out.
We’ve been regular customers at the ER, our car was already known to the ER’s security guard. I saw him go inside the ER and come out with a gurney when we were about 30 meters away.
In all those months that we were in and out of the ER, that room was always a flurry of activity. All hands on deck, all the time. But that night, I was the only one in there. I was prepped for OR in no time. IV drips were simultaneously inserted into my arms while I was being wheeled to the OR.
I’m Type B+. And the hospital did not have it in stock in the blood bank. On that day, my OB-Gyn was supposed to perform an operation on another Type B+ patient. The patient was asked to produce two bags of blood. She was only able to produce one. So the operation was re-scheduled for another day. That one bag she had saved my life. My husband drove all night to three more hospitals in the province to collect the five bags I needed. Officemates and hospital staff also donated blood.
At one point, they called a code. I was paperwhite. I crashed. But I lived to write about it.
Manage Your Expectations
Our pediatrician was not able to catch for me that day. There was a death in her family, and she was not expecting me to deliver that soon. So when I came to the following morning, there was a stranger in the room. She was the pediatrician that my OB-Gyn called to catch my baby.
She looked so sad. And when I asked her about my baby, she told me: “You might not be able to take him home. He’s really weak, but we are trying our best to save him.”
Our neonatologist was a ray of sunshine. She was more hopeful. Focusing on the good. “The steroids should help. And when you are stronger, please go to the NICU and be there for him.” She taught me how to touch my baby like I’m massaging him, while he’s in the incubator.
He’s A Strong Boy!
He stayed in the hospital for a month. And then we were allowed to take him home.
After a few days at home, he had seizures. We did not know those were seizures. I thought he was just cold. So I bundled him up in baby blankets. But when he refused his milk, we decided to take him to his pedia.
More Miracles
At the doctor’s clinic, I was asked to describe what happened at home. And the doctor said: “Marge, those were seizures. We need to have him confined.”
Our doctor’s secretary called admissions, and we were given a room. I went down with the baby to the admissions office to sign for the room. And when we were given the green light to go to our room, I went to the ER instead. I just wanted to wave hello to the ER staff. And just as we got there, the baby in my arms turned blue. He stopped breathing!
Imagine if we went straight to the room and he had the arrest there. All the equipment were in the ER! He would not have made it.
He was given CPR. He was so tiny, CPR was just two fingers tapping on his chest. Then he was intubated. It was all a blur to me. I thought I was going to pass out.
He had another arrest right after he was intubated. And then he was brought to the ICU.
At the ICU, he stopped breathing three more times. I remember having my eyes on the heart monitor, and I watched the number go down to 25. At that number, I closed my eyes. I don’t know how low that number came to. But he came back. I was half-lying on the floor, praying like I’ve never prayed before.
Setting Our Priorities
He stayed another month in the hospital. Our neonatologist and our pediatrician joined forces in lobbying that our son be allowed to go back to NICU. The regular ICU was not equipped to care for a newborn.
Our neurologist strongly advised that I should personally care for our son. The first two years would be critical. We need to watch out for signs of any delay in development. They were not sure if there has been oxygen deprivation in his brain in all those times that he stopped breathing. So we needed to be vigilant.
It was a difficult decision. We needed my income to pay off the hospital debt we incurred. But our son needed a mother’s care. So did our daughters.
So I resigned from my corporate position and became The Happy WAHM.
Jude, Through The Years
We named him after my husband, who was born on the feast of Saint Jude Thaddeus.
Want to see how tiny he was?
The photo on this card was taken when he was a month old. His head was the size of my fist.
But he caught up in no time.
He was a happy child.
And soon enough, he joined the homeschool journey of his sisters.
He went through the car phase, when all his drawings and all he talked about were cars.
The origami phase. Pictured below was a Valentine’s gift to me.
The building phase, first with our Math manipulatives…
The Stonehenge
…and then later with Keva planks, which I wrote about here.
Jude’s Boat
At one point, he loved soccer.
And supported me in my craft business. He enjoyed french knitting.
He also had a long hair phase. That time when our eldest was starting college, and my husband and I were talking about how we need to make adjustments in our budget, he volunteered not to have his hair cut, and put his haircut budget to Ate Xia’s college fund.
Among his interests, what have remained constant are his passion for astronomy, his love for music, and his fascination with Science.
We have just recently bought him a telescope, which I wrote about here, and a Thomson acoustic guitar with pick up and amplifier. For his birthday today, his wish is to have a bass guitar, but he will have to wait for it because that one is so not in our budget. 🙂 I just wish he’ll let me record him playing. He’s really good!
Meanwhile, he’s just been promoted to high blue belt in Taekwondo.
And busy with his new Snatoms set, which he bought with his hair.
Yes, you read that right. He used his hair to buy his first micro set of Snatoms, but that is another story for another day.
For today, it is all about having a third teenager in the family. 🙂
Do you, have questions, comments or feedback about this post?
Please leave a comment below, or post them on my Facebook Page.
by The Happy WAHM
Just because I’m The Happy WAHM doesn’t mean I don’t get sad. I go through a rough patch every now and then just like everybody else. But maybe, just maybe, I have developed a coping mechanism better than others. I’ve learned how to keep calm and keep going.
Whether it’s running a marathon, working towards your dream, raising a teen, or simply keeping your blog site updated, there are some situations we can find ourselves in where we want to keep going but really struggle to maintain the desire to do so. We have to give every last drop of will-power and energy not to just give up and pack it all in.
Oh, yeah… I just had a crying fit the other day over a small thing concerning work. Blame it on the heat, or the hormones, or lack of sleep. I don’t know what happened. But one moment I was feeling so good about something I did and was so crushed the next.
In situations like that, we may find ourselves turning to mental tricks and ruminations to just keep going. I’m sharing with you some of my best practices whenever I’m having those moments.
Draw Inspiration
Most of us have stories and memories that we can use to dig deep and find inspiration from. Mine is my mother, widowed at 33. I was two when my father died. She had no job and no education, but she straightened her back and hardened her resolve. She took on odd jobs to earn a living and worked day and night so she could give us the education she never had. It was tough for all of us, but she never gave up. So whenever I start feeling tired of what I’m doing, I think about my mom and all the hardships we had. These thoughts and memories help me to dig deep when I’m really struggling for energy, commitment or will-power.
If that doesn’t work, try an inspiring music track. I would not say the songs in my playlist are inspiring, but my go-to track is by one of my all-time favorites, Freddie Mercury. Been bugging my daughter to make me a lyric video of this song, but she’s still busy with school work, so I’ll just wait until she has time.
Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy my pick-me-up song as much as I do.
Remind Yourself Why You’re Doing It
Another trick that I do is reminding myself why I’m doing what I’m doing. I became a WAHM so that I could personally take care of my children and still contribute to the family income. I love the freedom and flexibility that WAHMing gives me, so having some bad days is not good enough reason to just give up. Focus on the good days and keep going.
Remind Yourself of the Consequences
Sometimes the stick can be more motivating than the carrot. If imagining yourself being highly successful because you did well isn’t doing the trick, then try doing the opposite instead and imagining what would happen if you had to give up. Oh, my gosh! The bills! The mortgage! College tuition! Braces!
Yeah, those thoughts work for me. Add to the list retirement funds and medical insurance. I’m sure you’ll be as motivated to keep going as I am.
Break it Down
If you’re tackling a big task, it will help to break it down into smaller milestones.
I have this ambitious project that I’ve been working on. It’s a book. Can you believe that? Me, writing a book?
Yeah, well, as I said, it’s ambitious. But I’ve been tackling it on and off. I’m using this writing software called Scrivener, and it allows me to just write bits and pieces, then collate them into chapters or re-organize paragraphs as I see fit. I don’t know how long it will take me to finish it. I just have to keep going, right?
Take a Break
Sometimes the best thing to do is to take a step back and have a breather. Most tasks aren’t binary. It’s not just ones and zeros. It’s not do or die.
Be strategic with your energy management and realize that a short timeout can often yield better results in the long term. Have a hobby. Mine is crafting, mostly crochet for now. But I’ll be adding quilling to the mix soon.
So there.
Having a rough patch? Keep calm and keep going. And then write about it. 🙂
Do you, have questions, comments or feedback about this post?
Please leave a comment below, or post them on my Facebook Page.
by The Happy WAHM
I was going through my old Facebook posts, and I came across this one that I posted last year.
Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?
– Bob Marley –
And I got to thinking… am I?
In general, life for me is good. I have a wonderful husband, equally wonderful kids, my mother is going strong at 79, I have a job career I love, there’s food on the table, a roof over our heads, we have sound investments, and we’re steadily building our retirement fund.
So my answer to Bob Marley’s question is… yes, I am.
But do you know that life satisfaction can actually be measured?
According to Positive Psychology, life satisfaction has 7 contributors.
- collective action
- individual behavior
- simple sensory experiences
- higher cognition
- stable characteristics of the individual
- the environment
- chance factors
It further says that life satisfaction is different from happiness. as happiness is an immediate, in-the-moment experience, while life satisfaction is happiness that exists when we think about our life.
Like I may be happy today because I was able to complete my tasks ahead of schedule (in-the-moment), but my feeling of satisfaction is from the knowledge that my husband and I have steady jobs and we are able to provide for our kids (feeling towards life long term).
From the same article at Positive Psychology, the PERMA Model was mentioned, introduced by Martine Seligman, the founder of positive psychology.
PERMA stands for
- Positive Emotion
- Engagement
- Relationships
- Meaning
- Accomplishments
You can read more about the PERMA Model here.
So let’s see…
Positive emotion. Check.
I always try to see the positive even the most difficult times. Like when we were burglarized. Or when Glenda hit us. Or the one that we’re still going through right now. I’d rather focus on the lessons and the blessings, although they are pretty much well in disguise.
Engagement. Check.
Aside from my work, I have made sure that I have a hobby for my personal happiness. I do crafts, I crochet, I sing, I even dance sometimes. These activities allow me to do a reset, thus helping me be fresh for work afterward.
Relationships. Check.
I’m married to my best friend, and we have kids that we love to the next galaxy and back. They are my support system. Without them, I would not feel, nor have the desire to focus on, positive emotion.
Meaning. Check.
Life for me is my family. Everything that I do are anchored on my big why.
Accomplishments. Check.
When I think about accomplishments, I think more about my relationship with others (have I lightened up someone else’s load?), my relationship with myself (do I forgive myself for past mistakes?), and my relationship with the world (do I bring my own shopping bag to help save trees?), rather than counting all the investments we’ve made and clients I’ve gained. Although the latter definitely contribute to the reason I sleep well at night.
Yup! I’m satisfied.
Do you, have questions, comments or feedback about this post?
Please leave a comment below, or post them on my Facebook Page.
