Thirteen years ago at around this time (2 o’clock in the afternoon), I was being discharged from the hospital. I just had my first round of steroids that would give my baby a fighting chance should we come to the point where taking him out of my womb would be the only course of action. I’ve been bleeding heavily since my third month and I’ve been in and out of the hospital.
My OB-Gyn never gave us any hope that my pregnancy would continue. On our first visit, she said it was likely to abort.
On my fourth month, she advised us not to get our hopes up. The bleeding was getting heavier.
On my fifth month, she advised us to have me confined in the hospital because the bleeding was already endangering both the baby and myself. It was of course out of the question. We had no one to take care of our two daughters, and we simply could not afford a long hospital stay.
On my sixth month, she sat us down to discuss having the baby taken out of my womb and they would try to save him outside of the womb. I was to have four doses of steroids, to be administered in a span of two weeks. The steroids would make the baby’s lungs stronger, and give him a fighting chance to survive, should we go through the C-Section.
We agreed to the steroids. And on June 9, 2005, I had my first dose. I stayed overnight in the hospital. And I was discharged the next day. It was thirteen years ago today.
We went home, comforted by the knowledge that the steroids would give our baby stronger lungs. We were to come back for the second dose in three days.
We arrived home around 2:30 pm, and everything was fine. But at around 6:00 pm, the bleeding started again. More profuse than any I experienced in the past four months. At one point, there was one big swoosh that really got me shaking.
And then I went into labor.
I got the calling the hospital routine down pat. Been doing it for 4 months, I was already an expert. And calm.
I called admissions for a room. And I called the ER so they would expect me. Then I called my OB-Gyn, my anesthesiologist, and our pediatrician.
A Series of Miracles
I was supposed to have four doses of steroids. I went into labor just after the first dose. That one dose gave me comfort. Our baby had 25% more chance than before the first shot was given.
I lost a lot of blood while we were at home. But the moment my husband put me in the car and all through during the drive to the hospital, not one drop of blood flowed out.
We’ve been regular customers at the ER, our car was already known to the ER’s security guard. I saw him go inside the ER and come out with a gurney when we were about 30 meters away.
In all those months that we were in and out of the ER, that room was always a flurry of activity. All hands on deck, all the time. But that night, I was the only one in there. I was prepped for OR in no time. IV drips were simultaneously inserted into my arms while I was being wheeled to the OR.
I’m Type B+. And the hospital did not have it in stock in the blood bank. On that day, my OB-Gyn was supposed to perform an operation on another Type B+ patient. The patient was asked to produce two bags of blood. She was only able to produce one. So the operation was re-scheduled for another day. That one bag she had saved my life. My husband drove all night to three more hospitals in the province to collect the five bags I needed. Officemates and hospital staff also donated blood.
At one point, they called a code. I was paperwhite. I crashed. But I lived to write about it.
Manage Your Expectations
Our pediatrician was not able to catch for me that day. There was a death in her family, and she was not expecting me to deliver that soon. So when I came to the following morning, there was a stranger in the room. She was the pediatrician that my OB-Gyn called to catch my baby.
She looked so sad. And when I asked her about my baby, she told me: “You might not be able to take him home. He’s really weak, but we are trying our best to save him.”
Our neonatologist was a ray of sunshine. She was more hopeful. Focusing on the good. “The steroids should help. And when you are stronger, please go to the NICU and be there for him.” She taught me how to touch my baby like I’m massaging him, while he’s in the incubator.
He’s A Strong Boy!
He stayed in the hospital for a month. And then we were allowed to take him home.
After a few days at home, he had seizures. We did not know those were seizures. I thought he was just cold. So I bundled him up in baby blankets. But when he refused his milk, we decided to take him to his pedia.
More Miracles
At the doctor’s clinic, I was asked to describe what happened at home. And the doctor said: “Marge, those were seizures. We need to have him confined.”
Our doctor’s secretary called admissions, and we were given a room. I went down with the baby to the admissions office to sign for the room. And when we were given the green light to go to our room, I went to the ER instead. I just wanted to wave hello to the ER staff. And just as we got there, the baby in my arms turned blue. He stopped breathing!
Imagine if we went straight to the room and he had the arrest there. All the equipment were in the ER! He would not have made it.
He was given CPR. He was so tiny, CPR was just two fingers tapping on his chest. Then he was intubated. It was all a blur to me. I thought I was going to pass out.
He had another arrest right after he was intubated. And then he was brought to the ICU.
At the ICU, he stopped breathing three more times. I remember having my eyes on the heart monitor, and I watched the number go down to 25. At that number, I closed my eyes. I don’t know how low that number came to. But he came back. I was half-lying on the floor, praying like I’ve never prayed before.
Setting Our Priorities
He stayed another month in the hospital. Our neonatologist and our pediatrician joined forces in lobbying that our son be allowed to go back to NICU. The regular ICU was not equipped to care for a newborn.
Our neurologist strongly advised that I should personally care for our son. The first two years would be critical. We need to watch out for signs of any delay in development. They were not sure if there has been oxygen deprivation in his brain in all those times that he stopped breathing. So we needed to be vigilant.
It was a difficult decision. We needed my income to pay off the hospital debt we incurred. But our son needed a mother’s care. So did our daughters.
So I resigned from my corporate position and became The Happy WAHM.
Jude, Through The Years
We named him after my husband, who was born on the feast of Saint Jude Thaddeus.
Want to see how tiny he was?
The photo on this card was taken when he was a month old. His head was the size of my fist.
But he caught up in no time.
He was a happy child.
And soon enough, he joined the homeschool journey of his sisters.
He went through the car phase, when all his drawings and all he talked about were cars.
The origami phase. Pictured below was a Valentine’s gift to me.
The building phase, first with our Math manipulatives…
And supported me in my craft business. He enjoyed french knitting.
He also had a long hair phase. That time when our eldest was starting college, and my husband and I were talking about how we need to make adjustments in our budget, he volunteered not to have his hair cut, and put his haircut budget to Ate Xia’s college fund.
Among his interests, what have remained constant are his passion for astronomy, his love for music, and his fascination with Science.
We have just recently bought him a telescope, which I wrote about here, and a Thomson acoustic guitar with pick up and amplifier. For his birthday today, his wish is to have a bass guitar, but he will have to wait for it because that one is so not in our budget. 🙂 I just wish he’ll let me record him playing. He’s really good!
Meanwhile, he’s just been promoted to high blue belt in Taekwondo.
And busy with his new Snatoms set, which he bought with his hair.
Yes, you read that right. He used his hair to buy his first micro set of Snatoms, but that is another story for another day.
For today, it is all about having a third teenager in the family. 🙂
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Just because I’m The Happy WAHM doesn’t mean I don’t get sad. I go through a rough patch every now and then just like everybody else. But maybe, just maybe, I have developed a coping mechanism better than others. I’ve learned how to keep calm and keep going.
Whether it’s running a marathon, working towards your dream, raising a teen, or simply keeping your blog site updated, there are some situations we can find ourselves in where we want to keep going but really struggle to maintain the desire to do so. We have to give every last drop of will-power and energy not to just give up and pack it all in.
Oh, yeah… I just had a crying fit the other day over a small thing concerning work. Blame it on the heat, or the hormones, or lack of sleep. I don’t know what happened. But one moment I was feeling so good about something I did and was so crushed the next.
In situations like that, we may find ourselves turning to mental tricks and ruminations to just keep going. I’m sharing with you some of my best practices whenever I’m having those moments.
Draw Inspiration
Most of us have stories and memories that we can use to dig deep and find inspiration from. Mine is my mother, widowed at 33. I was two when my father died. She had no job and no education, but she straightened her back and hardened her resolve. She took on odd jobs to earn a living and worked day and night so she could give us the education she never had. It was tough for all of us, but she never gave up. So whenever I start feeling tired of what I’m doing, I think about my mom and all the hardships we had. These thoughts and memories help me to dig deep when I’m really struggling for energy, commitment or will-power.
If that doesn’t work, try an inspiring music track. I would not say the songs in my playlist are inspiring, but my go-to track is by one of my all-time favorites, Freddie Mercury. Been bugging my daughter to make me a lyric video of this song, but she’s still busy with school work, so I’ll just wait until she has time.
Another trick that I do is reminding myself why I’m doing what I’m doing. I became a WAHM so that I could personally take care of my children and still contribute to the family income. I love the freedom and flexibility that WAHMing gives me, so having some bad days is not good enough reason to just give up. Focus on the good days and keep going.
Remind Yourself of the Consequences
Sometimes the stick can be more motivating than the carrot. If imagining yourself being highly successful because you did well isn’t doing the trick, then try doing the opposite instead and imagining what would happen if you had to give up. Oh, my gosh! The bills! The mortgage! College tuition! Braces!
Yeah, those thoughts work for me. Add to the list retirement funds and medical insurance. I’m sure you’ll be as motivated to keep going as I am.
Break it Down
If you’re tackling a big task, it will help to break it down into smaller milestones.
I have this ambitious project that I’ve been working on. It’s a book. Can you believe that? Me, writing a book?
Yeah, well, as I said, it’s ambitious. But I’ve been tackling it on and off. I’m using this writing software called Scrivener, and it allows me to just write bits and pieces, then collate them into chapters or re-organize paragraphs as I see fit. I don’t know how long it will take me to finish it. I just have to keep going, right?
Take a Break
Sometimes the best thing to do is to take a step back and have a breather. Most tasks aren’t binary. It’s not just ones and zeros. It’s not do or die.
Be strategic with your energy management and realize that a short timeout can often yield better results in the long term. Have a hobby. Mine is crafting, mostly crochetfor now. But I’ll be adding quilling to the mix soon.
So there.
Having a rough patch? Keep calm and keep going. And then write about it. 🙂
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I was going through my old Facebook posts, and I came across this one that I posted last year.
Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?
– Bob Marley –
And I got to thinking… am I?
In general, life for me is good. I have a wonderful husband, equally wonderful kids, my mother is going strong at 79, I have a job career I love, there’s food on the table, a roof over our heads, we have sound investments, and we’re steadily building our retirement fund.
So my answer to Bob Marley’s question is… yes, I am.
But do you know that life satisfaction can actually be measured?
It further says that life satisfaction is different from happiness. as happiness is an immediate, in-the-moment experience, while life satisfaction is happiness that exists when we think about our life.
Like I may be happy today because I was able to complete my tasks ahead of schedule (in-the-moment), but my feeling of satisfaction is from the knowledge that my husband and I have steady jobs and we are able to provide for our kids (feeling towards life long term).
From the same article at Positive Psychology, the PERMA Model was mentioned, introduced by Martine Seligman, the founder of positive psychology.
Aside from my work, I have made sure that I have a hobby for my personal happiness. I do crafts, I crochet, I sing, I even dance sometimes. These activities allow me to do a reset, thus helping me be fresh for work afterward.
Relationships. Check.
I’m married to my best friend, and we have kids that we love to the next galaxy and back. They are my support system. Without them, I would not feel, nor have the desire to focus on, positive emotion.
Meaning. Check.
Life for me is my family. Everything that I do are anchored on my big why.
Accomplishments. Check.
When I think about accomplishments, I think more about my relationship with others (have I lightened up someone else’s load?), my relationship with myself (do I forgive myself for past mistakes?), and my relationship with the world (do I bring my own shopping bag to help save trees?), rather than counting all the investments we’ve made and clients I’ve gained. Although the latter definitely contribute to the reason I sleep well at night.
Yup! I’m satisfied.
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The TRAIN Act, or the Tax Reform for Acceleration and Inclusion Act, is now in effect.
I’ve gone ahead and had my COR updated again at my RDO so that it will correctly display the new payment schedules and the tax table I’ll be under. Alas, I cannot avail of the straight 8% tax due to my status as a BMBE, but it can be changed by next taxation year.
I’m still wrapping my head around the new system, and the agency has yet to update the online filing platform. The existing package does not include the ATC for non-vat businesses yet, so it’s a good thing that we are not expected to file until May.
For now, I’m leaving this here, for easy reference. This is the easiest and the most simplified sample computation of taxes under the two options. This was personally given to me by the Revenue Officer in my municipality, and I don’t think this is in the BIR website.
If you want to read more about the implementing guidelines of the TRAIN Act, go here.
Truth, I read all the 27 pages of that guideline, and I didn’t really get it. Examples of tax computations comparing the graduated income tax versus the 8% flat income tax rate were presented using different taxable income amounts. More like comparing apples to oranges, if I may say so.
So I’m really grateful to our Revenue Officer for giving me this simplified copy.
But of course, I would still recommend that you read RR No. 8-2018 to better familiarize yourself with the inclusions and schedules.
I will update this post as soon as the eBIRForm has been updated, so I can share more information with you.
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It arrived! The Celestron PowerSeeker telescope that was to be our Christmas gift to our son is finally here!
It took a long time, but my son has been blessed with patience, so no worries there. We’re celebrating Christmas in March.
I bought it from Amazon in September and was shipped to my sister-in-law’s place in New York. It was to be brought home by my mom-in-law last November, but it was a “pain-in-the-neck to pack”, so it was taken out of its Amazon packaging and put in a Balikbayan box and sent via cargo.
The long wait is so worth it. We unboxed it yesterday, and in my excitement shared the first photo on Instagram.
Because I was working, I didn’t get to participate in setting it up. But father and son had an awesome time bonding over it.
The package came with an instruction manual and the Starry Night Basic Edition astronomy software from Simulation Curriculum. According to their website, the Celestron PowerSeeker telescope series is designed to give the first-time telescope user the perfect combination of quality, value, features, and power. Sounds perfect for a 12-year old!
Other downloadables are: Astronomy Basics, Celestial Observing, Telescope Basics and Telescope Maintenance.
The astronomy software is so cool, I think I want to download it to my computer as well. I’m just not sure if the download code can be used on more than one computer. I have not tried it yet but will do soon, when my workload is light.
I took some screenshots of the software from my son’s laptop.
This is the screen that pops when you click on the icon. You’ll see that our location has been set up, along with the date and time. The What’s New dialogue box shows some trivia relative to the present date.
I clicked on one of the icons on the left sidebar and went to find out about the moon. The date changed to the actual date the image being shown was taken.
When you hover your mouse to any of the dots on the screen, it will tell you what that dot really is. Below, you’ll see that my mouse was on Jupiter. The image on the screen is actually moving and it will give you a feeling of being out there.
I wanted to see Venus, and an information popped out, saying that Venus is not visible at that time where I am. So I clicked on the button that tells the best time to see Venus from where I am, and as you can see, I will have to wait until tomorrow to try and find it. 🙂
There’s a lot to discover on that software still. All I know at this time is that it is a great tool to plan and execute observing sessions. It will tell us to which part of the sky we should look when we want to observe a particular heavenly body.
Meanwhile, I just let my son discover what other features the software has, and I’ll just wait for his show-and-tell. I’m thinking that the Starry Night will be a perfect complement to his Kerbal Space Program software. He can build the spacecraft that will take him to all the other planets.
Celestron also has a YouTube Channel, if you want to check first their line of telescopes and get an idea of what will best fit your needs.
And I just found out that there is a local Celestron distributor here in the Philippines! I have to find out how to buy from them as they don’t have a shopping cart. Will update this post once I have the correct link to the distributor.
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