If you fell down yesterday, stand up today. – H. G. Wells
And fall, I did. Literally. With a very loud thud.
As Jude puts it…
I thought the ceiling was going to collapse.
I don’t know how it really sounded from downstairs, as I was busy picking myself up from the upstairs bathroom floor, and screaming at the top of my lungs for my husband.
I lost my balance as I was toweling dry, and I fell hard on my butt, and as I fell must have hit the back of my head on the wall, because I remember feeling an excruciating pain on my head just as I felt the thud of my butt on the floor.
I saw the scene flashing before me in slow motion. I remember thinking “this is not happening,” and thinking “no, I won’t be paralyzed. I won’t let myself to be.” And the moment I landed on the floor, the first thought was “I have to scream now, or they will never know what happened.” And so I did.
As I opened my mouth for that first scream, I was already thinking of getting up. “I have to get up, I have to get up.” My mind was working overtime. I was feeling excruciating pain on the occipital area of my head, and at the same time, pain was also shooting up from what feels to be the base of my spine. And that pain worried me. So I made myself move.
I was able to get up on my own and wrapped myself in a towel, but my world was spinning. I thought for a while that my vision was blurred, but I refused to acknowledge it. I focused on the pain, trying to think of what organ connects to what, and what could be causing the pain on my back. I moved my legs, and in my fuzzy mind thought, “Oh God, thank you. I can move my legs.” My greatest fear was paralysis, and the fact that I was able to get up was comforting enough to take my mind off the nausea.
My husband came just as I opened the shower curtain. He did not hear my first scream, but Jude did. And the boy called him. He heard the second. And the third, just as he opened the bathroom door. I think that earns him the title Flash, because I know I timed my screams on five-second intervals. I was very conscious of keeping my mind busy, so I even thought of counting in seconds.
We were preparing for a lunch date with a family friend when it happened. After lunch, we were supposed to go straight to the Christmas presentation of Greenhills Christian Fellowship, and then drop off my little something for a friend at her house. We went ahead with lunch, but by the time we were due to go to GCF, I was ready to call it a day. My body was aching all over, and the dizziness was stubbornly staying.
Last night, I had nightmares. The scene of my fall kept repeating in my mind, even in my sleep. I pity the husband who stayed up all night monitoring my temperature. They all say I felt hot, but the thermometer told them otherwise. So maybe I’m just one hot WAHM. Period.
Emergency over. I’m now back at my workstation. Grateful, just a little bit more than the other days, that God has been there, as He always is, to protect me from further harm.
More than ever, I want to keep my own version of the gratitude jar project alive. I don’t know how to call it yet. Choose Happiness? Happiness Jar? Maybe you can send in suggestions. 🙂
I’ve distributed some of the jars, while others are still with me, about to be prettified. The way I know how, okay? 🙂 My version of pretty might not be the same as yours, so please bear with me.
Meanwhile, I chose to be happy yesterday while fighting the nausea, and indulged in sweets.
Because you see, happiness is a choice. And you can be happy any time, under any circumstance, even in an emergency. You just need to choose to see the good side of things. The good side of what happened to me? Aside from having a good reason to indulge, I also had a good massage. 🙂
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